The importance of feeling validated

I was recently reminded of how critical it is to feel validated.

Not long ago, I was having a conversation with a life coach. 

We discussed my work, and I shared how excited I was to be coaching people with ADHD.

I shared that I was motivated by the uncertainty I had felt after my own ADHD diagnosis a few years ago.

That diagnosis was a turning point for me.

It was liberating. 

For the first time, I understood why I’d always felt different.

Finally, things made sense.

But after a brief pause, the coach said something that shook me. 

He suggested that the key to moving forward was simply re-framing my mindset.

I didn’t have ADHD, he said. It was just a label I had chosen for myself.

What I needed to do was strip off that label and practice positive self-talk.

The pit in my stomach grew heavier.

The answer to all my struggles was suddenly clear: more willpower. A better mindset.

Just try harder.

It’s the same old narrative I’ve heard my whole life.

It’s the kind of advice that leaves people like me feeling broken—like there’s something fundamentally wrong with us.

It’s the kind of advice that confirms the inner voice telling me, “You’re not good enough.”

It’s invalidating.

If only I tried harder. 

If only I had more willpower. 

Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t…

👉 Consistently disappoint my wife for not carrying my share of responsibilities at home.

👉 Let my kids down because I’m distracted, disconnected, and quick to lose my temper.

👉 Fail to finish projects, follow through on commitments, or meet deadlines.

There are people who fail to understand that ADHD isn’t just a label—it’s a lived reality that profoundly impacts every area of life. 

It creates obstacles that can often feel insurmountable.

The answer isn’t to simply try harder.

Real progress comes from working with someone trained to understand these struggles—someone who can guide you toward practical solutions that fit your unique brain.

This is where ADHD coaches are absolutely vital.

If you have ADHD, there’s nothing wrong with you.

You just need to find support that helps you identify and overcome your own obstacles.

And, instead of being told to just try harder, you can live life feeling empowered, confident, and most importantly, validated.